She Amore on my Cat till I Black

Meet my new Jellycat: I call her Susan cause she look so Lazy

Every time I tell myself I’m going to take a break from spending so much money on Jellycats, I find reason to get another. Not that I ever necessarily need a reason, but somehow a new Jelly always makes it’s way into my arms sooner than anticipated.

But the Amore Cat Black? Boy, this lovely lady comes with quite a f**king story to tell.

I first spotted her at a bedding store in the mall. I thought she was absolutely lovely, but I had already purchased two Jellycats that day, so I didn’t take a close look. I later thought to check her out on the website, and I only fell more in love. I knew right away that my ass NEEDED an Amore Cat Black. I let the thought slip away, as finals week consumed me and the only thing on my brain was transformations of logarithm graphs, memorizing the symptoms of deficiency and toxicity of 30+ vitamins and minerals, and how the actual f**k I was going to remember the negative feedback loop of estrogen and progesterone production in the female reproductive system.

One day, as I was ignoring my studies, I was browsing Marketplace and stumbled upon this magical oasis of a listing.

AN AMORE CAT BLACK FOR $35!?!?!?!??!
Of course I had to immediately message the seller. After a painfully drawn out conversation, I discovered that this pretty thang was brand new from Christmas, and barely touched since it was purchased. The Amore Cat Black Lady (as I have been calling her) mentioned that her kids didn’t want it so that’s why she was selling it. After learning that this Amore Cat Black was living in a neglectful and unloving home, I realized it was meant to be. It was my destiny, my truth. It was MY responsibility to save her from this toxic environment, and give her a new home where she would be unconditionally loved and surrounded by many Jelly friends. We arranged to meet and she even offered it to me for $25, which was a f**king steal if I ever saw one.

And so after much anticipation, the day finally rolls around…

What an absolute disaster.

Long story short, click here.

After she stood me up, my day was absolutely ruined. I met with a friend for lunch and later with another to go shopping. While I enjoyed my time with my friends, there remained a sinking hole in my chest, carved out by the absence of an Amore Cat Black in my arms.

Do I dare buy a brand new one? They’re in stock at the bedding store in the mall and I’m here anyways…

…Was the only thing on my mind the entire time I was shopping. After parting ways with my friend, I paced back and forth in the mall. The lady at the bedding store expressed how there was only a total of 3 Amore Cat Black left across all of the stores, which was very enticing. I also recalled how the Amore Cat Black was retired, so if I didn’t get my hands on one, I might never ever forever and ever own one until I DIE. I simply could not let that be.

So I copped myself an Amore Cat Black.

Look at her. My precious lovely lazy little lady. She’s plump. She’s voluptuous. She’s handsomely show-stopping. She’s quite large for a ‘small’ Jellycat, and quite chubby too! Her lazy eyes are perfection and she’s velvety soft. God she’s so f**king perfect, f**k I love her so f**king much guys give her a f**king kiss RIGHT F**KING NOW!!!!

I decided to call her Susan, cause she look so Lazy. She has accompanied me in many endeavours over the past few days. She rode shotgun on the drive home, I’m currently editing this post with her in my arms, I took a short nap with her this afternoon… I even brought her with me to a friend’s place Friday night. F**k it! Susan at the function! She was a big hit. All the homies love Susan. I haven’t much else to say other than I love her dearly and you should to0.

And lastly, a gallery of images we took together <3

editing this post with Susan

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